Literary criticism

In his latest column in the New York Times, discussing the economic stimulus package, Thomas Friedman complains that, in the good old boom times, "...too many people were making money from money, or money from flipping houses or hamburgers."

Hamburgers. Really. An overabundance of fast food hamburger restaurants has contributed to America's economic woes? Well, I'm not an expert like Mr. Friedman, so maybe he's got a point. Let's check the tubes... Nope. As it turns out, McDonald's is one of only two companies used to compute the Dow Jones industrial average (the other is WalMart) whose share price increased in 2008; they've had 55 months of non-stop same-store sales growth.

This kind of thing ticks me off. It seems pretty obvious to me that this is just a silly little throw-away line that he came up with because he thought the "flipping" construction sounded cute. And it does, but when your voice is amplified by dint of its being published in the editorial pages of one of the world's most influential newspapers, it behooves you to stick to cute constructions based in actual reality. There's certainly enough misinformation floating around out there about the recession without this sort of silliness.

Not that this sort of thing is out of the ordinary for Friedman. The man evidently has a unique knack for the mangling of metaphor.

Over the next couple of years, two very big countries, America and China, will give birth to something very important. They’re each going to give birth to close to $1 trillion worth of economic stimulus... But a lot is riding on these two babies. If China and America each give birth to a pig — a big, energy-devouring, climate-spoiling stimulus hog — our kids are done for... If they each give birth to a gazelle — a lean, energy-efficient and innovation-friendly stimulus — it will be the opportunity of their lifetimes.

The mind boggles. Two countries are giving birth to economic stimulus plans that will either be climate spoiling pigs or an innovation-friendly gazelles? Wow.

Friedman's point, though, is well taken. As the ship of America takes on heavy water, I, too, hope that Obama and Congress create an economic stimulus plan that will... I wish I were joking... "bail us into prosperity."