The next generation begins

The Stürmer family is proud and thrilled to finally be able to announce the expected arrival of its newest member. The Gummybear, as it has been dubbed, is expected to arrive and receive a more traditional name on or around May 3rd, 2010.

Radio silence at the American Umlaut has been largely the result of this news. The knowledge of my coming fatherhood has made it hard for me to think of anything else I wanted to write about, and writing about the pregnancy had to wait until the first trimester passed without any problems and Rose had informed her employer. Now that the lid is off, you can expect much joyous activity here.

Another reason for my relative quiet has been the arrival of my annual winter depression. Every year, as the days get shorter and the weather colder, the lack of light and exercise lead my brain to betray me. I've begun sitting under a high-output full-spectrum lamp while reading the news or practicing the piano for half an hour the last three mornings, which seems to be helping a great deal. I don't have enough data points to know for sure, but it looks like I may have found a trick to at least reduce the extent of my depression.

Before I go, here's are quick answers to the most common questions I've been getting:

- Rose is doing wonderfully. She's experienced no morning sickness to speak of, just a little fatigue and an insatiable appetite. No requests for pickle-and-ice-cream sandwiches yet.

- We do know what the Gummybear is going to be, and what it will be called when it gets here, but we've decided not to share that information. We're going to slap a name on it in secret, and announce it when it's too late and no one can argue. Kapow. We're like baby-naming ninjas.

- Pictures of the Gummybear exist, and will be available here at some point. I'm sure you'll agree that, although it looks much like any other 14-week foetus, our 14-week foetus is without questions the cutest unborn creature in the history of placenta-based reproduction.

- The nickname "Gummybear" came about because of how it looked on ultrasound at two weeks - you could see a big head, a body, and tiny little stubs of arms and legs. It looked just exactly like a giant cinnamon-flavored gummybear.

- We have plenty of space for a baby in our apartment, so there are no plans as yet to move.

- We will possibly be coming to America in the summer despite the presence of our larval-state spawn. Rose will be off work in any case, so she'll have no need to travel quickly, and so we're looking at the possibility of her crossing the pond in a large boat of some kind.

- Everyone keeps commenting that the Gummybear is going to come out gorgeous and incredibly intelligent. I agree that this is a possibility, but please keep in mind that the other half of its genes will come from me.

I am very, very excited to be a father. Thanks so much to everyone who has already wished Rose, the Gummybear and me well. I'll keep you all posted as events develop.