A unique order of operations

More than seven months after our marriage began under a windmill in northern Germany, my wife has just purchased her wedding dress. That's because in Germany, one wedding is not considered expensive enough, so you have to have two.

First comes the civil service, before which the government of Germany reinforces every stereotype of Teutonic bureaucracy by causing you to fill out a number of forms sufficient to build a life-size papier-mâché replica of Stonehenge. The finest moment in this process in when they make you provide a professionally translated copy of your birth certificate, which contains approximately eight words to be translated, including such difficult terms as "name" (German: Name) and "date" (Datum).

I am not as sure what the church service will be like, having never actually gotten married in a church before. Based on weddings I have seen here, there will be dancing, lovely speeches, excellent food, and a woman who's come to the ball dressed as a giant wedding cake. Only this time, inside the cake will be my wife!

I'm very excited.